What the future holds

My mind plays with the possibilities with what the future holds for me and my family. I have had an excitement building inside my head for months now. With just a few weeks separating my known reality and the mystery of what lies ahead, I think back to a time when it all started to emerge.

Bandannas everywhere

Busy, busy day. Worked on cute little touches for the shower. Making a tablecloth out of the blue bandannas and the white ones are going to be the napkins.

Change...

Here is the money that was left over from lunch. We all had a craving for something to munch. So we sent the boss out to buy rolled tacos and rice. We all filled our tummies and that was quit nice...

Staying within the boundries

One minute you are following the rules and the next you throw all "normal" thinking out the window. Breaking the rules is fun and dangerous. It exhilarates and causes the adrenalin to rush through your body. It becomes a focused desire to achieve the same thrill over and over again. But no matter how hard you try to replicate the sensation, it stays beyond your grasp.

Staying within the boundaries of polite society is safe and comforting. It keeps the demons away. It allows one to feel centered and successful.

Applying the oldest rules to ones modern life is a frightening task. Where does one draw the line. Whose rules take precedent? With no immediate consequences the answer seems simple at best.

Happiness with 4 legs times 2

These are my girls...Chihuahua's by breed, but the funnest dogs I have ever known. They each have a very different way of being a dog. Today my husband tells me that they stayed under the blanket all day and didn't stir until they heard my truck come down the drive. They always greet me with exuberant tail and rump wagging. With licks on my hand to say,"I'm so glad you are home." They keep me warm at night and company during the day. They are always close by. They give me comfort when I am sad and always crack me up when they race their Chihuahua 500 around the couch...

Snicker Doodles

Today after school I baked some cookies for my future son-in-law. I'm not so sure I did a great job or that they will survive the trip over the Rockies. I've placed them in air tight containers and will put them in the mail tomorrow. I hope he smiles when he gets them...Snicker Doodles...yum

Legacy

I heard the word legacy today and it made me think about what my children think of me and what have I taught them. I think of my own mother and feel a sense of strength, creativity, joy and leadership. I want to pass that to my own kids as well as future generations. My hope is that they know I would sacrifice my everything for them. I want them to feel loved and nurtured and that I am a safe place to turn. No matter what. This is my mom on her 77th birthday...(the picture was taken in Nov. of '09)

Legacy...it's a powerful, thought provoking word.

Starting a new job

My future son-in-law starts his new job in the morning. I am so very proud of him. The next time I will see him will be when he marries my favorite girl...Miss Amy Lynn

A Bloody Trout

Catch of the day. Joe caught a rainbow trout today at Lake Morena. We drove through the snow covered mountains and spent the better part of the day fishing with friends. He even won a prize. On the drive home he told me,

"that was fun. We should fish more often."

Shower Planning

This is my sister and me all dressed up for something fun I am sure...today I was on the phone with her, planning Amy's wedding shower in February. Kelly is snowed in at her home in Phelan, CA and she had lots of time to plan every detail. I love my sister with her kind heart and giving nature. She is my best friend.

going fishing

Signing the fishing licence for Saturday's trip to the lake.

Sloppy Bills

The ground beef for Sloppy Bills...you may be thinking, sloppy Bills? I never heard of that. Sloppy Joes, yes, but never Bills. Well, along time ago, when my Joe was about 5 or 6 years old, he explained to me that he didn't like it when we had sloppy Joes. He said the kids at school made fun of him when they served it for lunch and so he would like it if I didn't make them at home too. I said to him, "oh please, it's just a name of a sandwich!" "We could call them anything we wanted, how about Sloppy Bills?" Bill was the name of the dad that lived next door. He was a fun guy and Joe had known him all of his life. He thought on it for all of 2 minutes and that was it...We have called them Sloppy Bills ever since.

Much Rain Today

So much rain fell today I was soaked to the skin by the time I got home. Trees were down and power out. We folks who grew up in So. Cal. don't know how to layer up or even cope with this much wetness. Tomorrow I'm taking a hand towel to dry off in the car before I take off for home and bring a waterproof jacket...

Rainy Day

It's a fireplace kinda day. Storm coming and dumping inches of rain. Streets are flooding. I don't think I could live in the North West.

Hello out there...

Coming home from my weekly trip to the grocery store, I noticed that the roads seemed to be empty. There was a big football game today and not many people were out driving around. This is the road home with El Capitan mountain in the background there.

Becoming a mom

Twenty five years ago at 9:35 p.m. my life changed.

Drinking

Drinking tea is my new night time regime

"Turn your card!"

I have spent the last two days, all day, with my little guy in 1st grade. My usual time is about an hour. Well...they are very busy little people and along with listening to the teacher and attempting to keep up with their daily work, they have to keep their behavior in check as well. I was pondering a way to put this chart in use with the people I meet during the day. People that cut me off on my short 3 mile ride to work. People who don't push in their chairs before they leave the lounge. (lounge, doesn't that sound like we have a seedy night club at work?) People who enter a room talking. And by people I mean GROWN UPS. So back to the chart. As of 11:00 this morning all students are on green. If by chance you see me around town and I am pointing and shouting "Turn your card to RED Mister!" you will know that I'm having a bad day...

Life Group saves the day

Every other Wednesday night I travel to a friends house to meet with a group of friends for our Life Group. We are all believers in Jesus Christ and that He died for our sins. There is something so comforting in knowing that. No matter what subject comes up, we can laugh or cry or ponder and we can disagree and be righteous or irreverent. We care about each other and tonight that was exactly what I needed. Someone to openly care. I smiled all the way home for the 4.5 minutes. Did I mention that we have great food? This is bread pudding with cool whip. Yummm!

My heart is full.

Love you Group.

what it costs to fill my tank
xo...me

Every Monday night I face my reality.

No other choice

There is no other choice. I wont give up my control on the weekly food shopping. I must trek to the grocery store at least every 6 days. I try to stretch it out, but it never works. Maybe I should be grateful I don't have to go every day, or have to rely on my gardening and animal husbandry skills. I try and park in the same spot each time. It helps me get into a comfortable mind set. I try to get creative, with new foods, but it comes down to mind numbing, robotic food choosing. Everyone is in their own world, with their own pressures, trudging along, not making eye contact with the other strangers who are close enough if they whispered a "hello," you could hear them.

Waiting for Results...

Testing daily is my new promise to myself. I have conveniently avoided testing my blood sugar for far too long. The thought process is almost like a small child covering his eyes and then you can not see them. I put my tester next to the kitchen sink. I am at that sink multiple times a day. There is no excuse. I have many testers. In my lunch box, in my car, in my house. Why do I avoid them? My diabetes should be easy to shed. Lose the pounds, lose the meds. I have a friend that uses insulin. He can't change his status by changing his life style. The image of him injecting his meds to keep him living should be lesson enough. When will I grow up and take responsibility? Soon I hope, for no one is in charge of me, but me.

Break Time

break time at work, didn't have breakfast, sacrificing lunch for the good of the cause
xo...me

Running out of Time

Tonight was the re-start of my Thursdays with Rev-Roo...it is almost like a micro mini life group...attendance ranges from 2-3 sometimes the chef brings in a yummy desert. Well, tonight we watched the movie UP. Interesting, funny, cute and I will be scratching it off of my list of movies to see in 2010. As I was saying my good-byes in the kitchen, a voice from the closest bedroom says..."you have to go home now"...knowing that I still needed to post my blog entry for tonight. Then out on the driveway, I get a text from a friend wondering where today's post is....so on the way out to the main road, I snapped a quick shot of the clock on my radio dial in the truck. Posting via mobile phone...just call me a tech geek...NOT...until, tomorrow

running out of time...

At the End of My Rope

This is me at the end of my rope...lanyard...Each day when I suit up for work, the last thing I put on is my lanyard. It has my staff I.D. with a key to my first classroom and some helpful "PECS" dangling at the bottom. Oh and my favorite tool, my whistle. My first classroom is 1st grade. I shadow a child with health issues, (lungs mostly) and if his nurse is not with him, I stay with him all day. Great kid, smart, funny, playful. After my 9am break, I head over to a class of multiple grade levels, abilities and sizes. One kid is 90lbs and about 4ft and in the second grade. His ability level is about 4yrs old. Helpful and lovable. I use sign language and PECS* pictures to help in communicating with the kids...

*Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS)

Steps...

During my day at work, my mind tends to wonder when we are at play. Today the sun was warm on my back and the buzz of the children playing went into a fuzzy hum and my eyes focused in on the steps that take you up the play structure. I quickly snapped a photo of the holes in the steps. It helps me remember that the more things change, the more they seem to remain the same.

Links to normal

The first day back from winter break and I enjoy the familiarity of it all. Same crazy traffic in the parking lot, same smiling faces from the kids on campus. Predictable meltdowns and loud crying from my friends with Autism. Starting new again for them is always hard. While out on the playground, one little guy stretched out the rope we use to help the kids stay in line, while trekking through the halls of our safe little campus. With the voices of a hundred or so kindergarten and first graders playing at lunch recess, I captured the rope, waiting for little hands to pick it up and take it back to class...

Sheeeep

I love all things sheep. They remind me of my sweet daughter Amy. Today in church, there was a display with pine bows, white poinsettias and a lamb. When we sing about how worthy is the lamb and that one lost sheep...I can relate from a part of a heard/lost in the world sort of way.

Clear blue palm

This morning is bright and warm with clear blue skies. I am energized and want to start many projects all at once. I feel happy and ready to do it all...as I was checking to see if the trash man had emptied our bin that has been on the street for three days now, I chose to snap a picture of the palm tree in our front yard with the bright blue ski peaking through. Happy day to you too.

My first mile...

My view from the treadmill as I walk my first mile of the year...half-time at the Rose Bowl.